Everybody hates rejection—even the subtle forms which can crop up every day - such as a broken promise, punishing silence, a sarcastic remark, or a promised phone call that never comes. All of these can feel like a slap in the face and a brutal assault on your self-esteem. But, not really knowing when “the next time” might be, you could be tempted to keep your guard up all the time. Men are definitely capable of treating you with the good-manners and dignity you deserve.

Something inside warns you that men are almost certain to end up doing you wrong, if you get too relaxed. The sad reality is: if you, even subtly, look, speak or act as if you expect a man to behave in a “trifling,” no-class way—it’s very likely he soon will! Actually, your expectations have a powerful effect on the kind of treatment you get from men. The more positive your expectations of them, the more likely they are to meet them. And yes, you should require it of them.

Conversely, the more negative your expectations, the more “prophetic” they’ll prove to be. Men are definitely capable of treating you with the good-manners and dignity you deserve. And yes, you should require it of them. But, you create a fertile climate for that kind of treatment, when you start out expecting it—and offering the very same thing to him. Never start out with the blind assumption that a potential mate cannot be trusted, then treating him as if it’s a fact.

Never begin the dating process with the blind assumption that a potential mate cannot be trusted to treat you honorably. That’s finding him guilty until he’s proven innocent. Unfair! Instead, begin by seeing him as a clean slate. Give him every opportunity to earn your approval and generous applause by his honorable behavior—as if you expected it of him all along. Self-respect calls for YOU to conduct yourself like you’re God’s treasure—and treat others as if they are as well.